Baggage… Luggage… Love….

Thursday, 15 November 2007, 22:16 | Category : relationships
Tags :


I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately. Maybe its because most of the strangers I encounter seem to feel the need to comment on my relationship status. I’ve gotten a lot of “Your boyfriend must have so much fun with you!” or “He’s a lucky guy” comments. Even the guy in the Sonic drive-thru one day commented on it.

So, of course, lots of thinking about relationships leads to lots of talking about relationships. With every relationship comes baggage. And I don’t mean the cute kind that you proudly take through the airport while you’re going to Bora Bora on your dream vacation. I’m talking about the kind that weighs you down and makes you feel like if you were really going to Bora Bora that they’d have to build another island just for all the “stuff” you’re going to take with you.

The older we get, it seems like the more baggage there is. I knew one guy who said that he didn’t want to date someone who had been married before, or who had children. He wanted those experiences to be special for the two of them. (The more that I think about it, it seems like he didn’t want her to have been engaged before either… but I don’t remember for sure.) When I met him, I had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy who was divorced with 2 kids, so finding someone who hadn’t done any of those things before seemed a little silly to me.

Looking back, before that relationship, I had wanted someone who hadn’t done those things before either. And it did always bother me a little bit that I wasn’t going to be the first Mrs. Whomever Itwas. The birth of our child wouldn’t be such a miracle to him, except for the fact that it was ours. I had gotten past it because I was so infatuated.

So, now that I’m out, and looking, I realize that finding someone who doesn’t have a great deal of baggage is going to be hard. Finding someone who isn’t haunted by an ex is going to be almost impossible. Lets face it – I’m not getting any younger, and neither are the guys I date. The older we get, the more baggage you typically get.

And this is where my friend Aaron comes in. He says “Here’s a simple request. You have baggage and I have baggage. All I ask is that you carry your own.”

And that’s perfect. Its about changing expectations of who we are, and being realistic about who we are looking for. If you can’t get rid of your baggage, at least empty it out so its not so darn heavy. Learn to let it go.

PS. Aaron is single girls – and he’s mostly baggage free. ;)

No comments so far for “Baggage… Luggage… Love….”

  1. 1Aaron (required)

    Wow… very well said, Brandi. I especially like the part where you quote your brilliant friend, Aaron. Amazing…

    But seriously, you are once again well thought out and well stated. I really enjoy your writing. Good stuff!

Leave a comment