I am nowhere

Sunday, 28 September 2008, 11:41 | Category : Life
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I was talking to SP the other about a book he loaned me (Bird by Bird – quite good). I mentioned that when I started reading it, I “wasn’t in a writing place.” As I said that, it struck me that I’m not in any place. I’m not in a writing place or a reading place or a yoga place. I’m not in a knitting place or a drinking place or a cooking place. I’m just not in a place at all.

Its a scary feeling, not being in your own life. I’ve been trying to focus recently on what I want to do, and not letting myself get distracted by the dozens of off-ramps that are presented in life. But in that quest, I feel as if I’ve identified too many things that I want to do.

I want to read more (and better). I want to write more (thus the increased number of posts on this blog). I want to knit my blanket, as well as a couple of scarves for Christmas. I want to draw and doodle. I want to finally, for once in my life, beat a video game. Of course, I also want to have more friends, and go to yoga again (once I’m back in shape). I want to take more pictures. I want to be someone that I would want to be around.

And of course, the inevitable NOT TO DOs:
I don’t want my entire life to be about work, and the drama there. I already give it 8-9 hours a day, sometimes more. I don’t want it to rule the rest of my days as well. I don’t want to get sucked into politics, religion or the meaning of life.  I don’t want to do things just because someone else thinks its a good idea.

Anyway, that’s it for now. I’m going to go back on my lost way, searching a bit for myself, and hoping that I like what I eventually find.

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