Lookin' for Lamar

Tuesday, 11 November 2008, 23:40 | Category : Life
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I completely admit that sometimes, being from the midwest, I am a little naive about when someone knocks on my door. I should take that back – 99% of the time when someone knocks on my door, I don’t answer it, because it’s almost always a solicitor of one type or another.

Well, last week when I was in Jersey, staying with stinkypint, I was taking a nap when the doorbell rang. It wasn’t a doorbell. It was a gutteral grinding noise, sounding like a cell phone trapped and vibrating for dear life. It literally scared the bejeebers out of me. If I hadn’t been sound asleep, I would have had the foresight to NOT answer the door. Of course, being woken out of a sound sleep by a hostage vibrating cell phone that shakes the walls reduced my good judgement, so I answered the door.

Two guys were standing there: one in acid washed jeans and an oversized grey sweatshirt, holding a giant Mag-Lite flashlight, the other in blue slacks and a blue windbreaker. “Ya, we’re ah, lookin’ for Lamar” said Mr 80s. “I dont know a Lamar,” I said, looking back and forth between the two.

Windbreaker: “We’re from the blah blah blah police department. This was his last known address.”
Me: “Sorry, I dont know anything about a Lamar.”
80s: “You dont know anything about the previous tenant?” He waved his flashlight… and I realize that its not dark out yet.
Me: “No, I really dont know. I’m actually just visiting.”

Luckily, at this point Stinkypint shows up, and takes over.

Stinky: “Hey Guys, what’s going on.”
80s: “We’re lookin’ for Lamar.”
Stinky: “I dont know a Lamar – I’m the only one who lives here.”

Conversation ensues until Stinky convinces these guys that he doesn’t know a Lamar or anything about the previous tenants. After they leave, I give him a hug.

Stinky: “Baby, I dont think they were from the police.”
Me: “Me either.”

And that, my friends was the run in with the NJ… um… police. At home, we’ve got Lamar’s donuts. When I remember that it all made sense. They really were the cops, looking for donuts. :)

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