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Once I get my registration approved (hello, administrators!) I look forward to connecting with the other 20-somethings, and sharing what I have learned, and getting some camaraderie with others feeling the way I do.

My yoga studio, however, is not built by people who live with that logic. At both the old location and the new, each studio has always been a work in progress. Finishing work that hasn’t quite gotten finished, areas where touch-up paint still needs to be touched up. In the excitement of allowing others to discover the peace and beauty that is yoga, they’ve decided that it’s “finished enough.”

Interestingly enough, I’ve never heard someone say “I can’t practice here because that section of wall isn’t finished.” Nobody’s ever mentioned it at all. My inner demons point to the flaws and say “How terrible that they didn’t have time to finish the walls! If only they had planned ahead, or closed for a day to get it done.”  I’m trying to grow through yoga though, so while I lay in Savasana and look at the unfinished window sills, I recognize that we’re all bits of unfinished business. No matter how hard we try, the loose ends of our days and our lives will never be tied up in a nice, neat package.

Today, I’m just saying thank you to my practice (and to the studio itself) for reminding me that it’s ok when things aren’t buffed and polished to perfection.

But I tell you – when she promotes products, I think she forgets that the average American woman does not have deep pockets (or get free products to test). I was looking through June’s Beauty Products, and was absolutely floored when I saw a $28 lip stain, $78 body oil, and $175 perfume. Buying those three products costs more than a month’s worth of groceries for me – and probably at least 1 week’s worth for a family of 4. In this economic time, I still believe in the power of mampering yourself, but $45 lipstick goes beyond pampering.

Related Link: June’s New Beauty Products

I don’t mean to sound like one of those “find your authentic self” people, but that pretty much is what I’m trying to do. I was telling a good friend tonight that I default to “work” mode. It’s great for my employer, but not great for me. If I’m going to throw myself into hours and hours of work, I need to do more work on myself. If what I decide is my passion (for now) relates to work, then all the better for them. But I’d like to have a little something to default to after the 6-6 shift ends.

So, here’s a question for you: What do you default to? TV? Video games? Reading? Let me know in the comments!

When I found this quote recently, I found the truth in it. I’ve spent many a day planning for when my life would begin. At work, I’m going to write that press release after I just answer a few more emails. I’m going to get in shape as soon as I get caught up at work. I’ll learn to rock climb or swing dance or finally figure out a trip to France when something else happens.

Recently, I’ve felt more like my life had finally begun. I’ve started feeling again, and feeling things more deeply. I’m happier. I’m sadder. When things hurt, they hurt more. But that’s all just a good part of being alive.

-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) playwright, political activist

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked   ”How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t mattter.  It depends how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the  heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.  “As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”

“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.  Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.”

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.

Its funny – I can watch hours of soap operas where everyone has slept with everyone’s best friend, their significant other’s brother, and their parent – and they all get over it and get along. They forgive and move on. (They never forget, because you never know when they’ll need to pull that out in some knock-down, drag-out fight.) My local best-friend slept with my long-time on-again off-again boyfriend several years ago. And even now, if I think about it, the wounds will open right up.

Of course, the flip side of this is that when I’m happy, I’m happy. Like undenaibly, float on clouds, dance like a durvish happy. I think I’ll have more of those days in about 21 days … but for now, I’ve been trying to figure out why I can’t focus on the impending happiness. Instead I burst into tears on drive home or when certain songs come on the radio.

As it turns out, at least according to an article from Oprah, it’s because of the major life changes going on. I started a new job 11 months ago that has been in a constant state of change. I moved, and even though I’ve been here 10 months, it doesn’t really feel like home quite yet. I started a relationship with a wonderful, wonderful man who makes me happy (which, quite honestly, is a bit of a change too).  And because of all this change, the old me is dissolving… turning into people soup. And the author is right – it is scary. I’m one of those people who likes the feeling of being in control of the situation – and melting into a human puddle of goo (both emotionally and metaphysically) doesn’t fit into that need to control.

Phase 2 is Imagining – focusing on where your life is going after the change, and focusing on that. I’m ready for that phase to start. Starting…. now.

So, of course, I look at the “steal” items. I’m not rich – and I’m certainly not about to drop a load of cash on trendy things that are going to be “so out” in 3-6 months. But the “steals” are almost always over $50, and often over $100. How is that a steal? Take me to Kohls, Payless, and Target please! Show me how to look amazing (especially in this economy) without a $500 outfit.

Puh-lease.